Fashion Failed You

GNAR-GNAR Award Winner #4

2009-03-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Uh oh, Sue Ellen Crandell's babysitter died and she had to figure out a way to make money to support her and her three siblings... so she pretended to be 30 and got a job desiging at JIL SANDER!

And even when Jil found out that Sue Ellen was only 17, she didn't care. She didn't care because she just LOVED this futuristic gay cocktail waiter uniform.

Congratulations, Jil Sander. You've picked up a GNAR-GNAR Award!

Onto the Designer Bashing...

2009-03-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

So I was walking down Andrássy út last night and I happened to walk past the window displays at Roberto Cavalli and two fabulously hideous prints caught my eye.

OK, so yeah, Mr. Cavalli is known for his crazy prints, and a lot of the time they're really pretty and cool and exotic and all that...

and, I could see a lot of the merchandise they had in the store, and a lot of it was really really nice. However, they chose these two numbers to be in window displays on the fanciest street in Budapest.

And did you notice that the mannequins are different colors? Over here, for some reason, they have a thing with mismatched mannequins that I just don't understand.

Country Came to Town!

2009-03-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

OK, I know celebashing isn't my usual thing, but I was listening to some country music the other day (I know, I know!) and just happen to stumble upon this photo of Ms. Jo Dee Messina and I thought it would be a shame not to share it.

And the thing is, I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, seeing as she's "country" and all, but she's from MASSACHUSETTS!
So, since she's just frontin' country, I'll gladly bring on the rain.

She looks like she got hit by a semi and gang-raped by a pack of rabid tigers. Maybe I could understand the concept behind this getup if she were a fire-dancing-stripper in a traveling circus in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart somewhere in podunk Texas. Maybe.

GNAR-GNAR Award Winner #3

2009-03-22T12:18:00.000-07:00

This guy is just fauking foul. Soooo fauking foul, infact, that he takes the GNAR-GNAR Award for this and last week.

Just who does this guy think he is??? How could he ever possibly think it would be acceptable to have an ASYMMETRICAL BRAIDED RAT TAIL???

Seriously, did he just come from a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-fucktard?

And the thing is, one day someone will surely use it against him... I can imagine it would be a great way to hold onto his head for the purposes of bashing it into a wall or a door or a counter or the pavement.......... Maybe then he'll learn his lesson.

Anyway. This is by far one of the skuzziest things I've ever seen. Enjoy.

ew ew ew ew EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW

2009-03-15T02:50:00.000-07:00

Questions raised by this gentleman's skank-braid:

-Does this man have friends?
*If yes, do they hate him?

-Does he braid it himself?

-Does he chew on it? (I bet he chews on it.)

-Why has no one snipped it off with scissors in the night while he slumbers?

-And just who the fuck is he?

Maybe if he had on a Tool t-shirt and some facial piercings this braid thing would make sense, but he's wearing a fucking powder-blue collared shirt (and he most certainly did not just come from work. This was Saturday night, people. This is his party look...).

Please forgive me!!!

2009-03-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything in OVER a minute y'all, I know, and I'm sorry!!

I've found it a little hard to take pictures of the people I want to take pictures of... I'm afraid someone will totes smash my camera if they see me shooting pictures of them looking god-awful-bust-face in the middle of the street daytime style.

I really realllllllly want to bring you pics of all the great hair that's happening here, but I always catch these bitches on the street walking there dogs or some shit like that.

Half these bitches have this godawful, unnatural red hair dye accentuated with random platinum highlights... I hope to be able to take some pics for you soon!

I send you my love and hopefully some more amazing posts soon!!!!

Peace,

Cock-Diesel

GNAR-GNAR Award Winner #2

2009-02-28T04:06:00.000-08:00

I seriously almost lost my lunch on the escalator standing behind this gentleman. Thank goodness I had my camera handy to share this, the LONGEST rat-tail I have EVER seen.

I'd really love to see what it looks like NOT braided. I bet he likes to play horse like those people from Real Sex on HBO.

Oh, and he was carrying an Ed Hardy bag... coincidence? I think not.

Congrats, douche-bag! Your hideous hair has earned you the honor of this week's GNAR-GNAR Award!!!!

The Pride of Europe

2009-02-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

I think if England were aware of this fantastic fleece number and knew it was being worn by women like this, they would SUE the manufacturer.

CHANGE in GNAR-GNAR Award RULES

2009-02-26T06:31:00.001-08:00

I think the rule of nominees being dead is scaring you all away.

So, now nominees can be alive!

Now you have no excuse to send me pictures of people
being busted!!!!!!!

I can't wait and neither can you, I know it.

GNAR-GNAR Award #1 goes to: Marie Curie

2009-02-21T12:38:00.000-08:00

As a new, exciting and shiny supplement to my blog, I'm handing out GNAR-GNAR Awards!

The GNAR-GNAR Awards shall be awarded weekly to chicks/dudes from the past who suffered from severe fashion failure.

The first ever GNAR-GNAR award goes to: Marie Curie, Madame Radium, Frizzy McFrizzlestein!

Seriously, the bitch already looked dead. This Victorian goth meets cafeteria lady slash bus driver look is nothing short of frightening. She looks like a fucking vampire, and not the hot kind.
And is it just me, or is she wearing a modified bolo tie?

Get it together, Marie. You look like shit, and this is why you've been awarded this week's GNAR GNAR Award. Congratulations?

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And to make all of this even more titillating, I'll constantly be accepting nominees for the weekly GNAR-GNAR Awards from YOU, my readers!!

The Rules:

The nominees can be female or male (bitch or douche, respectively).
Bitch/Douche must be busted.

Please send your nominations to me, Cock-Diesel, at fashionfailedyou@gmail.com

Costume Couture

2009-02-21T08:40:00.000-08:00

It appears as though someone forgot to sew the utters on this cow costume...

...and why would a cow wear a cumberbund? Someone clearly got fired for this. The shopkeeper's only option? Try to sell it as a dress! Brilliant!

And if your wondering what the Hungarian gobbledygook printed on the sign means, it translates to STYLE AND DRESS ADVICE. I'm so confused, because apparently these "stylists" would like you to purchase these 80's prom-porno shoes to wear with the cow costume.

AND they spelled Haute Couture wrong...

...which is all fine and good really, because a misconstructed cow-suit is neither haute, nor couture.

Fancy von Vom-Sauce

2009-02-18T11:59:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure which of these get-ups I like best...

With window displays like these, how is this retailer still in business?? One would think, in this recession economy, that a certain visual merchandiser would try a little harder to make his or her store's inventory NOT look like it belongs to Hannah McHomeless.

And now, I believe I've chosen a winner. Though Outfit Number One perfects the hooker-bleak-chic look that's so en vogue, the victor is OUTFIT NUMBER TWO!!!

This Pepto-pink, sequined frock and furry bordeaux jacket combo clearly smashes the competition with its optimum wretch-potentch.

What sound does a zebra make?

2009-02-17T15:09:00.001-08:00

I really wish I could have gotten a full picture of this chick, but I was on a very small metro car, she was about 14, and I looked like a total pedo-skeeze taking this picture. Seriously, I wasn't smooth at all.

That said, the bitch is wearing ill-fitting, saggy-assed, zebra-striped skinny jeans. I think the zebra community would be appalled and offended.

Serrrsly?

2009-02-17T02:13:00.000-08:00

There's some serrrrs rat-ass all over this guy's head-piece. One part fauxhawk + one part vermin and one part straight nursty = a shred of "hair" and an even smaller shred of dignity.
Congrats, douche-bag!

Budapest Beauties

2009-02-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

Welcome to Fashion Failed You!

This blog has been inspired by all of the fun, fancy, and fabulous styles of Eastern Europe!

This is only the beginning of the best mullets, dye-jobs, studded and buckled boots
you've ever seen.

Extensive people-watching shall ensue. Pictures shall follow.

Stay tuned!!!